He Loves Me He, He Loves Me Not? He loves me...

I've had a handful of relationships, good and bad. But the one thing that always pops up in my head is "How can I tell if he loves me? Does he really love me? Does he feel the same way I feel about him?", but it is not an easy question to answer. I am sure these questions are obvious when you are trying to figure out whether a guy loves you or not.
I recently learnt there is a big difference in loving and liking someone. I myself prefer to like the person. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Many people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. One of the most confusing quasi-love feelings is lust. Lust is a very powerful, very intense feeling of physical attraction toward another person. Lust is mainly sexual in nature - the attraction is superficial based on instant chemistry rather than genuine caring. Case in point the guy I recently dated told me loved me, but he never treated me with any respect. I spent 99% of my time defending myself while trying to fend off all his insults. Usually we lust after people we do not know well, people we still feel comfortable fantasizing about. It is very common for people to confuse lust for love. But why you ask? What is it about lust and love that makes it so easy for me to mix up? If lust is all about sex, how can a relationship without sex be about lust? I struggle with this because I see lust in a biblical sense, but does that make it sinister. Love is about much more than that. Yet I seem to have confused an intense attraction for some sort if divine love. For me, since feelings of attraction are still new, and since pop-culture sells sex and love as one package, it is very easy to get the two mixed up. Dah!!! Sometimes love is confused with a strong liking or attraction towards someone. You become overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings and social pressures. Things become confusing too. Then what is love? What makes me want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can't be easily answered. There is no easy way to find the truth behind your feelings or the feelings of another person but there is some tell-tale signs that love is blooming (or growing deeper). If you agree with 7 of the following 9 statements you are probably in love.


1. You know, because you have been told by your significant other, that your deep feelings are returned in kind.

2. The object of your affections makes you feel special and good about yourself.

3. If/when you feel jealous it is always fleeting; you trust your partner not to betray you or hurt your relationship.

3. Nothing makes you feel as serene as when you and your partner are together.

4. When you fight with your partner you usually make up within a few hours and you always agree that nothing is more important than you both being able to express your true feelings (even if they sometimes cause conflict).

5. Your partner never asks you to choose between him/her and your loyalties to your family and friends - if you do choose him/her over them you always have a good reason and it is always YOUR decision and your decision alone.

6. Neither you nor your partner feels the need to test the other's loyalties or feelings.

7. You are more yourself when with your partner than you are with anybody else.

8. If sex is part of your relationship it is by mutual desire and agreement without the slightest hint of commitment testing or persuasion.

9. He treats you like a princess- Another ways to figure out whether he loves or not is to see the way he treats you. When a guy loves a girl he tends to treat her like a real queen. He would treat you with candle lights, open doors for you, he would try to do anything and everything just to make you happy and make you feel special due to his love for you.

10. He expresses it- The best way to figure out whether he loves you or not is by simply reading his body language. He would most definitely do little or big things just to show you that he loves you a lot and wants to be with you. He might be shy to actually say the real words but actions tend to speak louder than words.

11. Thoughtful gifts- This is one of the best determinant of whether he loves you or not. If he really loves you he would greet you with exceptionally a small gift that you never expected just to put a smile on your face. A guy would only spend money on expensive gifts when he really loves you.

12. Last but least...He tells you!

I loved him; he just did not love me