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I'm just odd, overly sarcastic at times, internally optimistic, constantly intrigued, a believer, prefer few over many, hopeless romantic, but a dreamer all-throughout...from the books I read, to the clothes I wear, to the places I’ve travelled, to the movies I watch, to the music I listen to, to the men I’ve loved...this is my world, take a seat, relax and

just live in it...just feel me!

"Passion make the world go around. Love makes it a safer place." -Ice T

9/17/2010

Germany...what more can I say? Loved it.

The German nation, has often been on the wrong side of history, politically. We really don't need to go into the litany of German mistakes through history. They are well-known. Common knowledge, even.

So this year I decided to take my vacation in no other than, you guessed it... Germany. I mean, what's not to like? Any culture that could invent and proliferate something so timeless as the dirndl is right by me. My childhood fantasy was mostly bent on two things. One driving on the autobahn (such an event was a HUGE deal) doesn't hurt, either. Nor does having a German lover except at 8000 miles away one must become extremely creative. Although in our internet savvy world, there are plenty of ways to increase communication! Webcams test messaging, phone calls, and emails can all supplement face-to-face communication, but really it does not take the place seeing each other day today basis.

Germany rocked me to my foundation. Everyone should take their vacation in Germany. Who knows I could be a twee bit biased? Who cares, just do it. I have unfinished business in Germany so guess what? I will be going back.

One day, an acquaintance and I took a walk in the Pfalz. We parked towards the top of a hill and walked at a slower pace through beautiful trees, now and again glimpsing the blue distance of Alsace Lorraine. I lingered, picked up stones and plucked wildflowers. We passed many happy hikers: very sporty ones decked out in full regalia, some kids in lederhosen and gingham scarves (I kid you not: they looked adorable), and large gangs of pensioners (known as the Renntner Safari). It was safe, beautiful and fun. Our walk led us to a …

When you walk in the forest or up a mountain in Germany, it is seldom necessary to pack a picnic because your walk will automatically end at a Huette (hut), where you can purchase cheap and delicious food. I once went for a long autumn walk with a friend in the Black Forest, where we were surprised by some unseasonable rain. We turned a corner and there was a warm and cosy Huette, selling amongst other things, hot chocolate, coffee and large pieces of Black Forest Cake....

The best baked cheesecakes in the world are made all over Germany, including right here in our little dorf. Sometimes I ponder my cookbooks and consider whether I should learn how to make a cheesecake. Then I think why bother, I could just stroll to the nearest bakery and buy myself an enormous slice of tender, crumbly, blandly sweet, cheesy-but-not-too-cheesy cheesecake. The best place however to eat cheesecake or any cake for that matter is in a Germany…

While I do not drink coffee for the amazing range of cakes, the coffee – dark, rich, aromatic – and the quaintness. Once you get used to it, you start to find the languid service very relaxing. Languidness extends to the customer too: if you wanted to, you could order a mineral water and sit for four hours reading your book. No-one moves you on, no-one even looks at you, and when you want to pay, you usually have to track the waitperson down to some small dark nook where s/he’s texting/reading/flirting with the chef. Then the onus is on you to give him or her…

Having come from lands where 15 to 20% is standard, even if the service is execrable, it is gratifying to be allowed to offer additional tips for service. It is expected that you spend some money. Anywhere from of €4 to €7, or €25 to €30 depending on the style of restaurant. Having ignored you for four hours, the waiter will make a …

On your arrival in shops, cafes, pubs, restaurants, you have to accept that you will be routinely be ignored. Once you learn that this is not personal (and certainly not that they can sniff you are foreign and want to ignore you), but realize that it is a game and short of lying in someone’s path so that they trip over you, you have to make yourself noticed. The opposite is true when you leave any establishment: you will be wished a nice evening, a good night’s sleep, a pleasant weekend, greetings are sent to your spouse and children – for there is nothing Germans love more than...

Family and children are very important in German society. The birth-rate is dropping there for reasons so children get a lot of attention. Children are always welcome and their idiosyncrasies are expected. They are allowed to be children and are not required to be strange little over-polite mini-adults. This means they can sometimes be hard to tolerate, but I like a society that welcomes childishness. There is also enormous kindness to children...

The other main reason I love is Germany is that it is close to great places like France, Italy, Austria and Switzerland. Alsace Lorraine is about an hour’s drive away and I have a shopping list for made for my next visit to Germany...

One of the best things about living in Germany is this: 30 working days’ leave. Shall I repeat that for my Canadian friends? 30 DAYS! That is definitely a criterion when seeking employment in Germany. I am seriously thinking I want to move there, but not only because of amount of holiday but simply because I want to. This means I can have a decent holiday back in Canada once a year and if I’m lucky a European vacations too. Germans believe holidays are essential, that without them, workers cannot do their jobs properly. And if you don’t take your yearly leave, you are regarded as slightly odd. So we do our best to comply...

Did I forget to mention the beer? It’s everywhere and plentiful, but that’s a different discussion.

Social Networking...As If!

I like life. I like the internet. But I hate social networking because it's too much of both in the same place. It intimidates me. It's overwhelming. It takes up way too much of my precious time. People take it too serious. Social networking is what computer people have been doing for years, but instead of random folks around the world, it's with people you already know and interact with in real life. And you already know some of those people you already can't stand. Twitter is just an IRC channel for your friends. Facebook, Twitter, whatever. I've been having fun with this technology since the 90s. Now you've all acquired these toys and made them accessories to your life, rather than an escape. You've hijacked my culture. And I don't blame you. Computers are fucking sweet. I know this, and I've been telling you this for years. Remember the socially stupid girls in the computer lab at school? This is what we were all doing. Many many years before you. And now you act like you found it. Where is the apology? Where is MY apology? Where is MY apology sex from all the dumb hot guys who rejected me solely on account of my interest in computers? I didn't get laid until I was 23 because my hobby was to do what guys who rejected me then, now do 18 hours every day. Is that irony? I don't know. But it's something. And I deserve to be laid at least 18 times as a result of my culture's tenacious adherence, despite all the bullying and ridicule, to continue doing what I believed to be fucking awesome. So every time you log onto your shitty-ass whatever-is-trendy social networking exact-replica-of-all-the-others account, just keep in mind how much of a dirtbag you were then and probably still are now. Thank you!

Go the F*&k to Sleep

I started thinking today about how little sleep I've actually had since returning from Europe a week ago. So I've been telling everyone who calls and say... "Hey Jas you wanna do something tonight?" ..."Hell no I am freaking tired man". I mean who really gives a rats ass if I'm actually tired? I'll tell you... No one cares. Conclusion: the best cure for insomnia is to stop trying to impress people with how little you sleep, and get some f*cking sleep because you know you can, because you don't actually have insomnia. You just think it's cool to have this fashionable disorder that makes you tired all the time.
I don't understand how sleep deprivation has become such a hip and fashionable lifestyle. I hear people bragging about it all the time. "Girl, I'm so tired. I haven't slept for like.. 78 hours straight." La la la