Ebony and Cream: I USE TO THINK BIRTHDAYS SUCKED!

The last few years I developed a thinking that birthdays sucked. Especially because my mother is not right here to celebrate with me. Maybe selfish in my thinking but ask if I care? I don't! To me birthdays are simply what the name says: Birth Day!!! That day commenced with my mother me and g-d. My father was not there. (He was gallivanting somewhere in the world.) Anyhow as I was saying that day was fully realized by my mothers sheer will to reproduce an image of her.

Sometimes I wish nobody in the world would care about birthday’s period. They might be fun, they may be 'special', and people might give you gifts. But I find birthdays (apart from mine, obviously) very irritating.

Because it's so tough to remember! I can say for a fact, that I forget at least two of four birthdays every year, among the people I know quite well. And then when it hits you that you've forgotten somebody's birthday, you feel all guilty and miserable inside. I just hate it. And I don't know how to talk to that person afterwards or what to say, etc.

The other reason (most will agree) because it's so tough to choose gifts! I mean, when you want to gift someone very close to you, friend or family, it's so hard to come up with an idea. You may love that person or you may just want to give something for the sake of it, doesn't matter. Gifts are gifts. So many times, my friends and me have wasted hours and yet come up with nothing to gift another friend. The fact that I find shopping a waste of time adds to my pain.

I use to say “Once you're born, forget the date!” I figure if we just remember that you were born - in that month, that year all is good. Special occasions like Christmas, Chanukah, Oman, and all the other things are perfect. Because the whole world celebrate them on the same day and hence you won’t forget. You can gift somebody something on those days.

Sigh.. As you might've guessed I forgot a couple of birthdays this year. (I know, I know. Birthdays will remain for a long long time. And if my memory's not going to be apart of the equation why be involved. I better do something about it.

Now let’s get specifical why I’m writing here. A few days ago I celebrated my birthday and it was AWESOME. Two weeks prior to my birthday one of my friend who se birthday is close to mine had a huge birthday bash at one of the local restaurants. It was to celebrate both of our birthdays. Combined effort I call that. It was a surprise for me to walk in and see my friends and acquaintances. Wow! This was nice. (Actually I hate nice. Being nice is like being prudent. And I hope never to be prudent. 'Nice' is the sloppiest adjective in the whole book. I could live my life nicely without 'nice'. Bill Shakespeare used 'nice' to mean correct, fitting, proper, poetically a good connection, and thus forth. Right now it means 'a nice car', 'a nice ice-cream', 'a nice ass on that chick...' It is a word which deserves to disappear. Soon. To hell with nice.) And who ever sat up one day and said: “Hey I have a great idea, lets surprise someone by throwing them a birthday party.” Ummm! What if the surprise is on them and I didn’t show up? I did because I am nice.

Last weekend my friends Rob and Kim hosted my birthday party. It was crazy fun. We cooked, we ate, we drank, we sang songs, we danced, we laughed we hollered at the moon, we walked we ate some more, we kissed; we drank some more we crashed. It’s was one of those weekends you don’t want to end. I saw people I hadn’t seen since my stroke. Most everyone had time off or on vacation so we turned out to be a super long weekend. Mostly because we didn’t know when we would see each other again. Can you say hung-over…

My actual birthday was the perfect day if there ever was such a day. I woke up at 7am.Way too early since the night before was complete mayhem with the flood of calls. Got dressed and headed into town for what I consider to be the best way to kick-off to a birthday. The Spa. It was delicious, delightful, delectable. In other words yummy! I love that sort of thing. Five minutes into the facial I could feel by body totally relaxing to point where if I were ice cream I would melt all over her hands and onto the floor forming a sticky puddle. Ten minutes I was slightly snoring. It’s a unique thing because as soon as the facial is over I knew it and I was awake.

Then came the Pièce de résistance…the massage. So there I was again just a puddle of flesh in her hands. She had me cooing and oooing. G-d I was in heaven and she knew she had me. I was out like a burnt out street lamp. Gone again. When I emerge I felt so alive rejuvenated and completely fresh. That lasted three and half hours. Best part is it was a gift.

I stepped out into the world feeling brand new. I got into my car and drove home humming the tune that was in my head. Even the muddy river somehow looked good that day! Why was that? Again I was having an epiphany that would change the course of this day. Maybe the notion that birthdays suck is really rather negative and I must get a new perspective. I did.

My former mother-in-law called almost as soon as I walked in the door and said where have you been? I’ve been calling for a week now. Get dressed we’re going for lunch. I thankfully said: Hell yea! With the help of my assistant I quickly dressed and out the door. Lunch was great. My former mother –in-law is great too. I love her and she loves me. The rest is history.

After lunch we headed back to my humble abode. I opened my gift she brought. No real surprise there because she always gives money. I am grateful for ANY money I receive. Thoughtless gifts not so much. We said our good-byes and she was on her way.

While I was on the telephone with my sisters there was a knock on door. Low and behold flower delivery. I really was surprised. I was laughing out loud because this was rare. I use to get flowers at the door but it had been so long I forgot what that felt like. My heart was beating and my mind was racing. Who could have been so thoughtful? After all there was not only one delivery; there were two in one day. These were not just the run-a-the mill flowers. These were massive arrangements of everything exotic. I put my sister on the speaker phone and said talk to me while I read the cards. Ha ha ha ha ha…both my mother and my sisters had sent me flowers on the same day from the same place. It was beautiful. The second delivery came from an unlikely source. I gracefully accepted.

I was overwhelmed. I realized that birthdays are ‘special’ no matter how old you are. I love birthdays so much I'd like to be born again. So THAAAANK YOOOOUUUU to everyone for the gifts and cards! I love all of them and am using them already.

Cooking night / Big party in Eglin