Being certified doesn't make you any less of a$$

I saw a commercial on TV the other day. There was some guy saying "Do you want a high paying job in the construction industry? Tired of seeing job opportunities being wasted because you don't have the right skills? Well now you can get certified training in one of these exciting fields," he went on to say "Construction Management, Estimator, or Handyman’s Assistant!" At this point I had to take a cold shower because I was so excited.


I couldn't believe the luck I was having. For only $300.00 or so, I could get trained to have my certification, or for another $5000.00 or so, I could have, dare I say, a CET?!? I'd be sure to bag a high paying job with those certifications on my resume! Finally, I can get out of my dead-end situation and become a specialist. Please. I can't believe people go for this bullshit. You know, some people just weren't meant to work in any field with exceptions like a broom. That's why the remote was invented. So people who don't know how to use it can sit there, watch this crap, signup, throw a fit when they find out they will never be more than handyman’s helper.

Anyway.. my point is that these certifications don't necessarily make you any more qualified for a job than someone with genuine skills and interest in a particular field of study. If you aren't good at learning new things and working with brain, save employers the trouble of having to throw away your shitty resume. Don't bother applying if all you have to show for yourself is a list of acronyms that read like a recipe card. That's another thing. There are way too many acronyms. AE, BFA (I have one of those useless pieces of paper that cost my parents many thousands of $), CET, DFEE, EPA (incidentally I am certified) FU, G&T (I am proud to say), MFL, NCVQ, OFI, VSO, SAT, B... the list goes on and on. Why so many? I can fit all these acronyms under one category: BS. Because when all is said and done, in the end, you're just left with more of the same: bullshit