Sleepy Hallow

It's unbelievable that anyone over 12 participates in the garbage tradition of Halloween. All it means at this age is a weekend of costume parties. Somehow everyone forgets that costume parties sucked all year round. Having a costume party on a day where kids get dressed up too will not change things. A good party is a good party, and a bad party is a bad party, regardless of how bogus people are dressed. Wearing fake teeth and red food coloring doesn't miraculously make you an interesting person. Every single Halloween party I went to, all I could do was look around at everyone with fake blood on them and think "God I wish that was real." If only it really were Freddy Kruger in the living room, he'd hack everyone to pieces and it would be entertaining. Wearing a costume is nothing more than an opportunity for cheap compliments. They go rent a Cinderella costume, enter the party, and everyone says, "Wow, I love your costume!" This, for some reason, flatters people. Weren't you listening? They love the costume, not you. You aren't the costume. They are not complimenting you. Whenever I ask someone why they dress up, the only thing they say is, "Because it's fun." Yeah, getting cheap free praise from drunken people generally is fun. Asshole. Too bad it's all fake. Nobody actually cares. No compliment on Halloween is ever genuine. The only reason they're saying, "Nice fish nets" is so that you will then, in turn, look at their costume and give whatever dumb positive statement comes to mind. Halloween should be renamed to "Self-conscious Day." These people have no idea what's going on. They put on a costume that looks ridiculous, and they know they look ridiculous. And they think that wherever they go, everyone around is watching them. But every person is wearing something equally ridiculous, so they feel the same. Everyone is in constant state of thinking they're being watched by people who think they're being watched. Nobody pays attention to anything anyone else says or does because the social phobia is knee deep and compounded beyond reason. Thank god someone dressed up as a serial killer and brought a long knife that I take and hack through the dense clouds of insecurity to find the door. And the people who aren't dressed up feel equally or more self-conscious. They think everyone around is watching them and thinking, "Why didn't that loser dress up? Has she no respect for tradition?" And by the time everyone is drunk enough to finally get over their self-reflective bashful paranoia of "Oh my, this princess outfit is so cute but so silly I wonder who's looking at me," they're far too trashed to do anything besides puke all over the gown and return it the next day so that in 365 days, another generation of slut-skank can pick it out and go, "Hmm, I wonder why this spot has a green stain. I'll take it." Thank hell it's November and these people can go back to feeling worthless and insecure again. Fuck Halloween. Fuck costumes. Double-fuck those dress up and think they’re kool because it’s Halloween. I wonder if they called “Hollowhead” day it would catch on and people would still dress up? Odds are they would.