Now I’ve been thinking (which could be viewed as a dangerous thing) sharing my life with one other man is too much for me to cope with. When my boyfriend of four glorious months dumped me I figured it all out.
So last night just as I was about drift off to la-la-land, I climbed under the duvet with my eyes wide open I began dreaming. Dreaming that I had four - yes, four - of my dream lovers in bed with me.
Why be alone? Why settle for being with one man? I am no longer interested in being a one-man woman...far from it. My complex love life has somehow been mind-boggling tangle of complicated bullshit with men. Hey: "Guess what? The best part about the deal is I don't have deal with them one at a time. They can hash it out amongst themselves. I'll just deflower a lot of guys." As if. I heard real men like dirty girls in bed, so I'm going practice being a real dirty. To hell with charm school. Little did my mother know she was wasting my father’s hard earned money, because all I learnt in charm school was how to charm men out of their underpants and straight into my bed. So today it goes something to this effect...
"Baby I find that the more I love, the greater my capacity to extend love. When I care for someone, I want my lover to share me with someone else to show how open-minded couple we are. And what a loving trusting relationship we have. Because you realize it's unnatural to expect one woman to be able to give you everything your heart needs."
And share I do. Currently I'm seeing seven people at the same time. Tiring? Stressful? Not as far as I'm concerned. Why devote my time with one guy when I can have seven. Wait wait wait...It's eight because I think messing with your Ex counts. So that number has just jumped to eight. Besides why have a boyfriend when I can do as many as I want including my Ex. Think about it. No don't it's a messed up thing.
It was just the other day when I spotted a gorgeous stranger walking down the street. I just knew I had to be with that person. (After all I've been single for a few months since splitting with my former, my ego is slightly bruised) so I nervously stopped my car and introduced myself and then said: Can I give you a drive? Get in. He jumped in. He shook my hand, bat his eyelashes, ran his hand through is hair. I could tell he was one of those touchy-feely types. After the pleasantries I cut –to - the - chase “Hey yah wanna fuck?” I have a few minutes before I write my exam…. He was way too hot and I didn't want to forsake the other seven in my harem, so I took a pass. Next time it won't be so...
It's an unusual set-up, but one which works for all concerned. I know it seems strange to most people, but I don't believe monogamous relationships are natural. Why love one guy or girl and get your heart ripped out of it's packaging? Why.
Maybe this is will provide a fascinating insight into the extraordinary world of, the practice of being in more than one intimate relationship at a time with full consent on all sides. Unlike polygamy - which refers to multiple marriages, and usually involves several wives sharing one man. For the record I’m not marrying anyone.
So you might be reading this, and thinking the situation may seem like a potential breeding ground for resentment and jealousy. But I’m talking about cerebral, attractive, classy, hot horny horny men. [Roll eyes]I insist there is no rivalry. None whatsoever.
No one believes me when I say arguments never crop up, but they don't. If anyone felt jealous, we'd talk it through. I have one rule: NO fighting. If someone feels left out, they must say so. That way we can change things."
Love is one woman, four men and a bed built for five .A one-to-one relationship wouldn't work for me. At least not anymore. This arrangement makes me happy. Sex with a man is like a big showy thunderstorm. But these days sex with myself is like an ocean - there's a depth and subtlety that doesn't exist with anyone else." I can't imagine life any other way.
